Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The Problem with Courtship (or...what's love got to do with it?)

I'm looking around at these incredible young people (and some not so young) that I am privileged to walk alongside in discipleship, and I am seeing some things.  This is a generation that wants to rise up and put action to its faith, to live a life set apart, to live with consistency to its beliefs, willing to do the hard things to see wrongs righted, with hearts full of justice.  They've witnessed firsthand the pain of divorce, abuse, war, poverty, hatred.  And I am from the generation that has been impacted personally by a lot of these tragedies.  I have been abused.  I am divorced.  And I have been guilty of parenting out of fear, of wanting to protect my daughter from pain, from the pain I experienced.  So I trained her to make wise choices, to avoid foolishness, to reject the worlds way of doing things, to stay in the highest tower, separated from a world that surely would tear her apart irreparably, to protect her heart above all else.  To avoid risk.

These are good things.  They are born of a pure desire.  There is wisdom in this counsel.  But...

We are living only half a life.  A life shaded in sepia tones, not full color.  I see a generation that wants to rise up and say 'no, I trust GOD, He is my protector - not me, not you.  I trust Him with my heart.  I will risk, I will walk in transparency, I will be vulnerable.'  They are teaching me.

And yet there are many who are afraid.  Frozen in fear.  Literally.  Frozen.  Passive.  They get encouraged and step out, but within a few days, fall back into fear.  It's maddening, it's frustrating, it's part of the process of growing.  Oh Lord, how patient You are with us.

I think we, the Church, the elders, are to blame.  We've partnered with Fear as we've counseled and discipled these earnest young people.  We've taken the purity of God's word, of Fear of the Lord, of wisdom - and we've mixed it with fear of hurt, of pain, of mistakes.  We have sold them the message that if they can just live out perfect wisdom, they can live a life without regret, without needless pain.  A mixture.  A bit of truth, a bit of fear...we've been sold a bill of goods and we've turned around and sold it again.  Say what!??

I'm staring at it in the face, right now, as we speak.  Love.  Surely it can't be something simple, such a big decision.  There's so much pressure - a coffee date becomes the equivalent of saying 'I do'...really?  Can't we just enjoy one another's company?  When did we get so freaked out about a boy and a girl spending time together?  I confess I was there.  No more!

I am a huge proponent of purity - sexual and otherwise.  But I'm seeing that we've preached this word from a place of fear.  Instead of teaching our kids how to STEWARD their sexuality in healthy ways, we've essentially taught them to cut it off, to pretend it doesn't exist.  On their marriage night, apparently it's just supposed to magically turn on - a simple flip of the switch, and it all comes together.  So our kids are left defenseless - either they can't do that and live in the shame of having made mistakes or they shut it down and throw away the key.  How do either of these scenarios glorify God, who gave us our sexuality as an incredible gift?  Yet we didn't learn how to steward it, and we live in the regret of poor choices, so we teach our kids to live by a thousand rules so they don't find themselves in a place of temptation.  Don't be alone with a boy.  Keep yourself covered up.  Don't touch.  Don't look.  Shut down any thoughts about them.  

Here's a shocker.  What if we taught them well about the temptations, gave them tools to walk with integrity and courage, and then released them to learn?  What if we trusted them, and more importantly, trusted God with them?  What if?  Are we so afraid, so convinced of their fallibility, that we refuse to do this?  Again, it starts in a pure place, but look at how it spirals out of control if we are not watching.  The enemy twists it and makes it ridiculous.  A spirit of religion, a spirit of fear.  Lord, rescue us from ourselves!  Oh wait, you already did.  Lord, give us the strength and wisdom and discernment to cut down these lies and to separate Your truth from them!  To untangle this big ball of string!

Sunday, September 28, 2014

A look into my heart

Brazil feels like a lifetime ago.  

So many things God is speaking to my heart - life, love, living...the richness of it, the subtleties of the wefts and the weaves, the joy and the pain - all wrapped up in one package.  You can't have the joy without the pain, the highs mean nothing without the lows.  The depths of Joy dance alongside the depths of despair.  The high of accomplishment walks hand-in-hand with the lows of disappointment.  It's beautiful and it's tragic.  It's life in all it's glory, the fullness of measure, poured out.

The Glory of God is Man, Fully Alive

What does that mean, to be fully alive?  This is what The Lord has been speaking to me about.  Thriving, not surviving.  I can see up close and personal how fear keeps us from living life to the fullest...yet we Christians ought to be the ones leading the way in this.  Jesus came so that we might have LIFE, and to have it ABUNDANTLY.  How's that working for us?  Instead of grabbing hold of this promise, we've couched ourselves in with rules and restrictions in an effort to guard ourselves from the pain and suffering we see around us, that we've experienced in our own lives.  We think that if we can just 'do' things right (performance much!?!??!!!), we will inoculate ourselves from the pain.  It's a knee-jerk reaction - note that it's not a response, but a reaction - wherein we try to protect ourselves from the world.  Hold on a minute here...that's not our job, is it?  GOD is our protector.  Yes, we must use wisdom, but we were never intended to be our own savior.  I assert that we bring about more pain when we try to do life on our own, try to protect ourselves in our own strength.  It's ugly.

We all just need to RELAX a little.  Over the last several months, this has been God's word to me - RELAX!  It makes me think of a fussy, agitated baby; fighting and straining until finally it gives in to its mothers gentle voice, the flow of the rocking chair, her soft touch...and finally, the baby lays back into its mothers' arms and RELAXES.  How many of us are fussing and straining against the Lord's arms?

And its not only in this area of love, romance, and relationships that we are living half alive.  It's in every area.  We are polite, never engaging deeply in peoples lives because we don't want to offend or cause discomfort.  We watch from a distance, but refuse to get up close.  We stay locked up in our houses, safe from the world.  Looking outside through the lens of our social media screens.  When did digital relationships replace face-to-face ones?  When did words coming in on a glowing screen become more interesting and valuable than words coming from the mouth of the person in front of you?  When did spending time sitting next to one another looking at individual screens become more exciting than looking at one another?  And we wonder why we feel alone, isolated, unfulfilled.  And yet I see the ones who try to stand against the tide - how lonely it is for them.  Lord, open our eyes!  We are being dumbed down, made numb.  This is NOT the abundant life you promised us!  Why are we so easily fooled?  So easily drugged?  So easily satisfied with so little?

Oh Lord, help us.  Help ME!  I am the guiltiest of them all.  Like a prairie dog, I live in the dark, poking my head up and seeing the world as it truly is , recognizing there is more to life than these dimly lit tunnels, but returning to them all the same.  Overweight, out of shape, alone.  Is this the life you meant for me?  No!  There are shades of color...learning to disciple with the fullness of my life and heart - but it's so painful.  The disappointment cuts so deep in my soul.  And yet there is hope, glorious hope.  The fullness of emotion, of coming alive.  For Your glory.  The joy, the pain.  Numbness fades away, yet there is a certain comfort in being numb.  It takes courage to embrace the fullness.  Do I have that courage?  I want that courage.  To be real.  To wrestle in spirit and truth with the real things of this world.  Love and loss.  Beauty and tragedy.
Lord, I want to live a life Fully Alive, I want to glorify You with my full-color life.  So, my question is this...what does that look like?  
LIVING LIFE FULLY, TO GOD'S GLORY

Many things come to mind as I meditate on this.  Loving without boundary or expectation.  Grieving deeply.  Listening fully.  Encouraging freely.  Allowing the fullness of emotions to be felt and expressed. Singing loudly, dancing without inhibition.  Experiencing LIFE outside of these 4 walls.  Engaging 100% in the moment.  Watching the sunrise and letting your breath be taken away.  Staying up late to look at the stars.  The sound of leaves crunching under your feet, a child's laughter, the whisper of your lover.  The intricacies of a beautiful flower, sunlight playing on the water, a bird soaring on the wind.  The smell of Autumn, of wet pavement, of Christmas.  All of my senses, fully engaged, fully appreciating.  The feel of the sun on my face, a cool breeze, the touch of a loved one.  To be intentional, alert, engaged, aware.  Not halfway, all the way.  To take joy in a smile, the twinkle of an eye, a moment passing between two people.  Intimacy and not familiarity.  Kindness and not sarcasm.  Joy, not happiness.  These are the the things that life is made up of.  We know it instinctively - we were created for life, for abundant life.  We revel in the idea of it.  But I don't want to live in the idea of it, I want to live in the reality of it.  Every day, every week, every month, every year.  I don't have to wait...to wait for a partner, to lose weight, to have money.  These are things that try to keep me from living a full life, but they are the enemy's tools, lies to keep me bound to a half lived life.  I live life in the midst of these things, in the midst of trials and triumphs, of learning and succeeding and failing.  Life is made up of a million moments, a tapestry of color and texture, each thread - each brushstroke - adding to the beauty of the finished product.  It's not about the experiences I've had, but how I've been engaged through them.  Lord, my desire is you.  To glorify You with my life, with my life lived to the fullest.  Teach me, show me, help me.  I love you.



Saturday, May 24, 2014

That Woman's Gonna Change Your Life

Levi stood up, tears in his eyes, and said "when I first came off the plane and saw you there waiting for me, I heard God say to me: That woman's gonna change your life, and I've been waiting for the time to tell you.  I want to tell you right now - you have changed my life."

  
This morning we had a powerful time with Daniel speaking over our lives prophetically, having looked up the meaning of each of our names and taking time to pray and seek the Lord over what He was saying to us.  One of the meanings of my name is 'obedient' (I know, right!?).  He began to speak of my desire for radical obedience to God and His ways, and the goal of my heart being to lead others to this same kind of obedience - not necessarily obedience to me as their leader, but primarily to God and His ways.  As Danny spoke, the truth of his words rang deeply in my heart.

    As Danny concluded, the class gathered around me and began praying over me as their leader.  What an honor and a blessing!  Levi continued, "As we worshiped, I looked around the room and it was like I could see everyone moving around, but not really.  Then I saw this picture of you, and you were putting camouflage paint on all of our faces, preparing us for battle, ready to lead the way.  There's no one I'd rather go into battle with than you!"

    Just two more weeks til we head off to Brazil and the World Cup to minister the gospel of Jesus Christ to the nations.  We are expecting to see tens of thousands of people from dozens of nations converging in Brazil for the 'Beautiful Game'.  Along with the revelry is a marked increase in crime, sex trafficking, gambling, and just about anything else you can imagine.  We are ready.  Ready to bring hope to the hopeless, freedom to the captive, and restoration to the broken.  I am so blessed to lead this team of worshipers into the battle.  Please keep praying for us.  Every battle we go into, we go with you, and every victory is yours as well.  

1 Samuel 30:24b - We share and share alike--those who go to battle and those who guard the equipment.

Three Weeks til Brazil and the World Cup!

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In just a few short weeks I'll be taking a team to Manaus, Brasil to minister during the World Cup.  Manaus is smack dab in the middle of the Amazon, with over 1,000 miles of Amazonian rainforest surrounding it on all sides!  We will minister both in the city during the games, as well as going deeper into the Amazon to work with indigenous peoples living in villages along the rivers - they are called 'ribeneiros' in Portuguese, 'river people'.  

Last week we learned more about the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and saw many people healed of various injuries and maladies.  We had several opportunities to put what we learned into practice, and were blessed to see God show up over and over again!

I want to start sending out little mini-updates like these more often, and I hope you will be blessed by them.  Below is a photo of some of students during a time of worship and intercession.  We were praying about revival, and painted rocks to spell out the word.  It was a powerful time!






 

1 Peter 1:22 - You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.